The Importance of Representation

I have watched Big Brother since I was 10 years old and have seen the line up change year upon year to show more representation of people from different walks of life, in a way that other shows haven’t evolved. This year as I sat down for the launch I was instantly drawn to “self proclaimed late to life lesbian”, Ali, as she discussed on the very first night how growing up with a lack of representation had held her back from discovering her sexuality and having fulfilling relationships until into her thirties. Watching someone over a decade older than me explain the very same situation I had found myself in struck a nerve, making me immediately consider just how much had we come on over the past few years.

"You can’t be what you can’t see."

It’s a statement I have repeated to myself constantly over the past couple of years while building my business. Growing up, I don’t remember there being any openly gay women at my school, “lesbian” was a term I was acutely aware of but not something I ever identified as. Everyone around me was straight, so logically, I was too, right?

As the years passed and I left school, I entered the world of work, got into music and met a much more diverse group of people. It was only then that I started to recognise feelings that had been buried for a long time, and it suddenly made sense. There was a reason I wasn’t attracted to men, and it wasn’t just the type of boys I’d been speaking to; I am a lesbian.

This realisation felt natural and logical. I am lucky to come from a supportive family (who apparently knew years before me!) and to have friends who would never be phased by something, which is the basis of my happiness and a core part of my identity. The first time I really had to acknowledge the impact this could have on me was when I started my business and began to market myself online. Do I allow this to form part of my public identity? Just in the same way I’d say I’m Northern or totally obsessed with dogs? It’s a part of me that I’m so comfortable with but what would other people think? Would it impact my ability to win clients? Would I get trolled online?

This is where I was drawn to the concept of “you can’t be what you can’t see”. I think a lot about if I had that representation when I was younger maybe I would have realised sooner that my feelings weren’t to be dismissed and were actually an indicator of my sexuality. It suddenly didn’t feel optional to mention it or not; what justice would I be serving to the people watching my videos or my younger self if I didn’t openly talk about my lived experience, my amazing girlfriend and the topics that I feel passionately about?

I have been told that I’m biased to Ali and even said to myself “who am I if I don’t support a ginger lesbian?” but her appearance on Big Brother has touched me for a number of reasons other than our shared traits. Throughout the series she has shared her experiences of being neurodivergent, another misunderstood identity marker, which is shared by a lot of the people closest to me, including some of my clients. Now I acknowledge that we only get to see an hour out of the day on this programme, but I have first hand experienced the real life stories bred through the lack of understanding of neurodivergence, in particular the lack of recognition when someone is high functioning.

"The invalidation of neurodiversity can directly impact mental health, cause ostracisation and delay undiagnosed individuals from getting the support they are entitled to to create a fair and equitable environment."

Now Big Brother is just one example of this, which can be directly translated to workplaces and environments that we create within our engagements with friends, family and even people we don’t know. This is just one conversation in a wider debate, but I felt compelled to share this post and to identify myself as an LGBTQ+ individual, who works with neurodivergent leaders because representation of all kinds is so important. Representation should never be a tick box exercise, don’t bring vulnerable people into an environment where they are not safe, create a culture that supports diversity and implements safe practices for people from minoritised groups of any kind. This is the real way to encourage a representative workforce and create a supportive environment.

Being honest and open about my own sexuality and identity markers has grown me an amazing, diverse client base. We work hard to manage their different needs in a way that makes them feel supported and encouraged to excel in their area within a safe environment. Identifying the communities I am part of has allowed me to connect with people from all different walks of life, something which I am grateful to have been apart of and value deeply in my day to day work life.

Even at 23 years old I still watch this clip everyday and I thank Ali for shining a light on the importance of representation on one of our main channels in the UK. I thank her for bringing her whole self to the house and to our TV screens. She has reignited the buzz for representation that I have and I hope this post reaches someone else who really needs it. You can’t be what you can’t see, so say what your younger self would want to hear, there could just be another mini you out there needing to hear it.